if you can read this, you're literate

out with a blog

2007-02-18T01:18:00.000-06:00

i've decided to end ths the way it started.

about my dog.

she's still around. still crazy. but every bit as loving.

plus, she's responsible for sarah even talking to me after the first time we met. so i owe her big time.

and now, we're adding to the chapman hounds. thursday, sarah and i bought this little guy.

he's a siberian husky.

i grew up with an alaskan malamute as one of my best friends. that dog could out drink anyone in a soda drinking contest and had the best dog burps of any canine i've encountered yet.

so it'll feel like home with a husky around.

tonight we bought his food dish and a dog whistle. by the way, don't ever waste your money on a dog whistle. you can still hear it. it's not inaudible like in the movies.

it is very audible and very annoying.

i could post some cheesy blog about being loyal like a dog. or make jokes about fleas. or make a list of the reasons that dogs have it so good.

but i won't.

i just wanted to end this on the same note i started off with. (did you notice i still used capital letters in my first post? weird.)

i still want to be like millie. i think anger is one of the emotions i understand the least. i don't know why we would be given anger. it hardly feels like anything positive. it causes mental and physical anguish. been to blame for starting wars and riots. it's such a problem that sometimes people have to take classes to understand how to control it.

definitely my least favorite emotions. (or HEmotions if you're t.d. jakes)

when my blogging days are revived, i hope to be less angry and more focused. focused on what, i haven't quite decided. maybe i should focus on decision-making...

and just to justify that i'm not crazy for wanting to be more like my dog, i leave you with this quote.

"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog." - Edward Hoagland

the end

2007-02-17T15:55:00.000-06:00

i've been thinking about this for a while now...

i think i have one post in me after this.

in fact, that's what i've decided.

there was one point where i thought i was just going to start a new blog in a new format and start all over from scratch. there's a lot behind the scenes here that i don't feel like blogging. and that's kind of when i decided that it wasn't worth having a blog if i don't feel like blogging something important in my life.

that combined with the fact that i've got this list on my plate right now...

1. getting married in 7 months
2. a 500 person guest list
3. full-time school
4. full-time job
5. getting in shape to soak up austrailian rays
6. moving to peoria at the end of march
7. still having time to do the stuff i need to do

that almost sounded like one of those "priceless" credit card commercials at the end... sorry!

with all this going on, i just don't have time to post. i figured, better to not post at all than have weak posts. there's an analogy here about a fence that i can't come up with right now...

"strong fences have strong posts, but weak posts make for strange dogs pooping in your yard."

or something.

basically, i just haven't had time for blogging, so i'm done.

but when i come back (oh yeah, blogging is here to stay. just b/c i'm done for now doesn't mean i'm done forever), it probably won't be on blogger. i wary of getting on wordpress jsut b/c that seems to be the fad right now. but it does have some very nifty features.

and thanks to a suggestion from megan, the new blog (whenever i decide i've got something worth listening to) will be focused. it will have a definite theme. if i'm going to be critical about leadership, it will be professional and clearly stated. if i'm going to journal married life, it will be candid. if i'm going to record the jeep project, it will have lots of pictures.

so, i'm off to write my last post on blogger. thanks for all the comments, opinions, and your sides of the stories. i appreciate all of them, positive or negative. i've never deleted a comment. to me, it just goes against all that blogging is here for.

we are the new free press. we all have an opinion on something. we have our passions.

and our generation blogs them.

thanks again, readers. see you in another rss feed.

living wild

2007-02-13T14:00:00.000-06:00

why is it called the "u.s. fish and wildlife society?"

aren't fish considered wildlife?

grace in the news

2007-02-06T08:47:00.000-06:00

i don't think i ever blogged about the ted haggard thing. probably b/c it's the news and i just don't pay much attention and there are enough people with an opinion on it out there that i don't think my opinions are strong enough to even communicate.

but this is where i do have a strong opinion. the one who outed ted haggard visited pastor haggard's old church from where he was fired. the one who outed him also admitted to being a male prostitute.

and he got a warm welcome when he came to new life church.

i'm really glad that with all the bad press surrounding this debacle that there can be some positive attention put back on the church.

some people might not see this as positive, but if you consider yourself a Christ follower, i think the warm welcome approach is the way to go.

the bottom line: God used this situation to get one more person in the church.

i don't know what the future holds for mike jones, but i would like to see more follow-ups like this.

so long sewer stench

2007-02-01T18:20:00.000-06:00

thank you to anyone and everyone who has prayed for us and supported us and even gone along with us to see this house.

we got notice this afternoon that our offer was accepted. we close on march 30th.

i can't say thank you enough. this was one of the most stressful things to do that i have ever taken on. i'm actually looking forward to moving in this spring. it will probably be the least stressful aspect of buying a house. and i know we had a ton of prayer.

so from the bottom of our heart, thank you.

now come over for some s'mores on either of the two fireplaces or on our handy goodwill special purchase, the " electric s'mores maker!!!"

see ya at 230 w. hanssler place
peoria, il i don't know my own zip code now

oh well, at least it takes me far away from the poo smell of the south end of pekin.

never enough hasslehoff

2007-01-29T18:09:00.000-06:00

don't cut out early...

you might miss out on the surprise ending!

how it should possibly be

2007-01-28T08:29:00.000-06:00

i have to give it to granger's executive pastor, tim stevens.

here is a perfectly good example of someone recreating a popular sermon (almost down to the same imagery), yet mr. stevens gives them credit!

now, the creative team might feel differently. think if you created an awesome advertising campaign on a taboo topic (the shock value is already there, and advertisers are already programmed to look for the 'different' and 'illicit'), and then someone a few hundred miles away does almost the exact same thing about a year later.

i imagine that i wouldn't take that news too well.

...unless i had a leader like this that reminds me that we're all on the same team. they say that imitation is the highest form of flattery.

whatever.

i don't like having my ideas ripped off.

think about this... if you invented roller blades, and then a month later you see kids riding around on roller blades of someone else's design.

that's disappointing.

but tim stevens didn't use that old cliche' yet he was still very nurturing.

his attitude wasn't one of selfish jealousy to be the first kid on the block with a sex billboard. and i think i could follow suit with that.

the way he approaches this brings up something in my mind that i know, but i easily forget.

we are on the same team. so why waste time bickering when there are lost to be found?

wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

2007-01-27T09:36:00.000-06:00

i think i found those kids from the last post.

...all grown up.

crazy frog

2007-01-20T12:14:00.000-06:00

i used to be the kid in the red.

now i'm taller.

they do have their timing down, though. i probably couldn't make this video any better, actually.

enjoy!

i just ran over a dog

2007-01-16T21:16:00.000-06:00

tonight, my neighbor came home and we were talking about a friend of ours from high school. the two were supposed to meet for dinner when the mutual friend called my neighbor and said she was going to be about 10 minutes late b/c she hit a deer. apparently it wasn't that bad. just a cracked windshield and some fur stuck under the wipers.

but this sparked a conversation about hitting stuff with cars as sarah and i drove the new jeep to menards.

i even specifically remember saying, "i wanna get one of those big bumpers that cover the whole front of the jeep so if you hit a deer it doesn't damage any of the body."

and up until tonight, neither one of us had hit anything more than the occasional squirrel or possum. (and i was in a full-size truck when i hit that, so proportionally speaking, a squirrel is to a toyota camry as a possum is to a chevy work truck).

we were one block from my apartment when a rottweiler decided it would be a good idea to run as fast as he could from his porch to the house directly across from his.

he made it about half way.

i saw it out of the corner of my eye and slammed on my brakes. i locked up all 4 oversize tires but still felt that familiar bum-bump before i came to a complete rest.

for a second, i thought i had killed someone's pet. man just had one less best friend and it was all my fault.

but then i noticed the black and brown heap scamper off from under the jeep back into its own yard.

i pulled forward to turn around and was still flustered that i killed the jeep and it took a couple attempts to start it up again.

by this time, the owners were on the porch. i parked in front of their house and walked up to the front door not knowing what to say and i can't remember if i said, "DID YOU SEE THAT?!?" or maybe it was, "IS THAT YOUR DOG?" or possibly, "DID I JUST KILL YOUR DOG, MISTER?!?"

at any rate, it was his dog, he did not see it happen, but his wife must have heard the screeching tires and that familiar bum-bump. i asked if the dog was alright and he told me he was ok and just had a bloody nose. i tried to look around him to see the dog for myself, but all i saw was some little lap dog jumping around.

the guy then informed me that his dog needed to learn him a lesson and muttered, "dumb ass" as he went back inside.

i'm hoping he meant the dog...

and i'm really hoping that dog only had a bloody nose. i just don't know how something could get literally ran over and then literally run back home!

new years baby

2007-01-10T16:59:00.000-06:00

what you're looking at is pekin's first child of 2007, born at 12:01 AM at pekin's very own pekin hospital.

i just have to wonder, though...
why is it always those shirts???

...have i mentioned we're looking at homes in peoria???

dream come true

2006-12-29T20:58:00.000-06:00

know what this is?

it's our new jeep.

i bid on it on ebay and won.

this means i'm selling the truck. so if you're one of those cousins that always calls me to help move you out of your boyfriend's apartment, i can't help you now.

we pick it up tomorrow in machesney park, il. i've wanted a wrangler since i was in high school. and now we're finally getting one.

the best part... NO MORE CAR PAYMENTS.

yeah, i had to get a car with a LOT more miles, but it'll be worth it in the longrun not to have to make payments on something. i can't wait to be free of car payments. it will be a great weight lifted, and we'll be able to do awesome stuff.

here's a quick list off the top of my head of what we could do with our extra $266 a month...

money to africa
money to kids
money to african kids
money to single moms
money to xxxchurch
plates that match
getting rid of more debt
...to help kids in africa.

i'm sure we'll think of more, but for now, that's what i'm thinking.

anyone up for a muddy ride?!?

merry christmas

2006-12-24T09:40:00.000-06:00

everyone have a merry christmas!

...no matter where you are!

weekend summary: late

2006-12-22T17:31:00.000-06:00

this is late, but i mentioned it briefly in another post. i didn't want to overlook it b/c i feel like i got something to say, and like any other blogger, i assume people want to read it.

last weekend, sarah, jamin, and i took a half day to go to grandville, mi to hear rob bell speak. holly was a bum and already had the ENTIRE DAY off work.

we drove through every tiny little town on 24 between here and indiana to avoid the tollways and chicago/gary, in traffic.

it would have been quicker to go through chicago at rush hour than go from 55-40 and back again about 80 times.

we got to hear rob bell's "everything is spiritual" again. holly and jamin got to hear it for the first time, and i'm glad i let holly take notes on my mac. now i have a copy of notes. (i'm not a note taker).

there were two showings that night... one at 7 and one at 9:30. we had to go to the 9:30 one b/c we didn't realize that there was a time zone change from here to mi. oh well, not a big deal.

that's why we ended up at cousin jay's around midnight (or was it 1???). but that was the coolest/creepiest drive of my life, i think.

he warned us of a ton of deer, then we drive down this curvy road in the pitch black that's lined with trees. i thought it was the black forest or fangorn forest (LOTR!) or somewhere equally as scary.

we found out in the morning that the trees just lined the road and that we weren't driving through the thickest forest i had ever seen a road pass through.

anyway, michigan was the highlight of the trip. to much nature stuff to put into one post... oh, except that i did a rope swing out over the lake at jay's parent's house and almost broke in half. almost broke mySELF in half... not the swing. i thought i was going to die, but everyone else laughed, so it was worth it.

ikea is awesome, by the way.... sarah and i had never been there, but holly and jamin could probably drive there in the dark. they were our tour guides. we got new sheets for our bed (don't worry... we're not opening them until we're married) and sarah got gifts for her whole team at work for under 25 dollars! we'll be back there when we get a house.

but as always with great friends, the drive there and back was probably even better than everything else. if we had more vacation time next year, we'd be taking more road trips with holly and jamin.

...as long as they'll let us.

examples

2006-12-22T17:21:00.002-06:00

ok, ok... i planned it that way... my last 4 posts have been about a specific people or group of people for a reason.

baca, jay, the montagues, and barry are all examples of christ like role models for me.

i want to be more like these people all the time.

and, to go one step further, none of these people are directly connected to a religious affiliation.

i don't think any of them even go to church.

yet they're better examples of christ than some christians i know.

i won't mention names, but there are definitely people i've come across in my life at church or at work or wherever that claim to be a christian, yet don't lead the life jesus did. they're not even trying.

i used to work with this woman at bergner's (again... no names) that would call security every time a non-white person would come into the store. and then she'd go back to telling stories about how she watched the brats on wed. nights at church.

sorry, but i can't take someone in a long skirt with a bun that seriously. i just think of nuns.

i worked there for over a year, and the only people i ever saw steal anything (the cops arrested them at our store) were a couple, man and woman, age around 40. if i had to stereotype them into a description... i'd say they had lived in pekin their whole lives.

my point is this; i'm careful of whom to make my examples. they're not always going to be your typical christians.

God spoke the universe into existence...

don't you think he can use anyone (including non christ followers) to influence your life?

don't blow people off just b/c they don't fit into your description of christ like.

we were all created in his image.

barry doak

2006-12-22T17:21:00.001-06:00

i started a new job on monday this week. they stuck me with this dude named barry doak.

and he's totally cool, man.

he loves bon jovi (he's got a picture of him on his desk. the OLD bon jovi... you know, weird sports jacket with the sleeves rolled up, big hair, and a pink derby), marilyn monroe, and aerosmith.

he's about 36, so i can see where those hair bands would be cool to him.

but you just can't get this dude down, man. he's got customers calling him all day long pissing and moaning about not getting parts, but it doesn't even phase him!

i thanked one of our bosses for putting me with him because i totally want to be like that when people yell at me. just go along with it, nod your head and say, "yep, i hear ya. i know... i know." when people are basically rippin' him a new one, he's totally on their side. he tells them he'll do what he can to get them their part, and then their happy.

he was telling one lady today about an engineering freeze on a part and she cut him off and said, "I CAN READ!" so he just did what he could and overrode the grief on her order and when she was hanging up she told him to "have a blessed weekend."

still, he wasn't bent out of shape. just kinda laughed it off.

it's kinda funny....
i wanna be more like the guy who's getting yelled at rather than the lady telling people to have a blessed weekend...

the montague family

2006-12-22T17:08:00.000-06:00

i know this awesome family... they're willing to open up their home to anyone and treat them like they're family.

they'll take you out to dinner.
they'll buy you drinks.
they love each other.
they always side with their family.
they just work as a family.

i've been to a party at their house where someone just walked up with a bowl of fruit salad, walked around for a minute, and left. she was at the wrong party... but i swear if she had stuck around, she would have been having frozen red, white, and blue drinks with everyone else like it was nothing.

my family has never been this tight. the montagues argue like any other family, but they stick together like every family should. i would recommend the world famous 4th of july party at the montague household to anyone.

where else are you gonna go to watch old people drink???

jay davenport

2006-12-22T06:45:00.000-06:00

i met the coolest dude two weekends ago. it's sarah's cousin jay. he was the cool one.

when everyone was was grilling me and kevin (that's sarah's sister's fiancee') about where we work, what we do, where the honeymoons are, where we're going to live... bla bla bla, jay was the one who would jump in the middle and make a joke so the attention was off of us.

he even came right out and said, "jeeze... why don't you put a giant spotlight right over here!" but in a funny way.

then it turns out he lives near kalamazoo, mi. and we were going to grand rapids, mi the next weekend. he offered for us to stay at his house. he even offered to let holly and jamin stay at his house with us after never having met them.

so that's exactly what we did. we went to see rob bell preach a rerun of "everything is spiritual" and then we drove 40 miles south to jay's house. we got there around midnight (or was it 1??? there was a time change somewhere in there...) and he was asleep on the couch.

we walked right in anyway and he ended up waking up while the four of us tried to sneak into his guest bedrooms. he was totally happy to see us even though he said we "scared the shit out of him."

he ended up giving us the tour of his 1882 farmhouse on 20 acres and asking if we wanted a beer or to play boardgames.

the next day he gave us the tour of hickory corners, mi (an awesome little lake community) and took us out to breakfast. the whole time, i just remember jamin saying, "we're moving to michigan!"

we pretty much had to eat and run, but he made us feel welcome. like family. you can just tell this guy is himself no matter where he goes. he's never fake. he always feels very genuine.

of all the cool people i've come across so far, jay's probably in the top 5.

baca

2006-12-17T11:54:00.000-06:00

i'm a pbs junkie. i'll admit it. no, i don't watch antique roadshow (often). but i do love nature, nova, and bob ross.

every once in a while, they have these documentaries that aren't part of their regular line-up.

this particular one that i'm in the middle of right now is about love.

they have rabbis and doctors and psychologists and reverends say a piece about love, and then they have an example. there was a family where the mom raised three boys by herself and then they all were deployed to iraq.

then more opinion on love by some smart people or some think tank members...

and then this example...

baca

Bikers Against Child Abuse

every member i saw was your typical biker.
pony tails
tattoos
leather vests
fu man chu mustaches
you get the idea.

but most of them were abused as children, also. they had one guy they were interviewing and he was narrating a story of a baca adoption.

there was a girl who was about 13 years old. she had been experimenting with drugs and alcohol. she was brave enough to be in this interview and said that once she started using, her mind wasn't clear and she just kept using more.

then one day some older boys (i'm guessing post high school from the sound of it) propositioned her and took her to a hotel and, in her own words, "sexually harassed" her.

somewhere in here, baca got the call.

a guy that goes by the name of "torque" is the president. he had flyers made up (they looked really good!) and literally dozens of bikers saddled up and covered the neighborhood where there was a lot of prostitution and drug use that was the last known whereabouts of this girl. they rode to every gas station, hotel, park, and basically any public place handing out the flyers.

eventually, they found her sitting on a curb crying. the documentary showed torque at the actual curb with his bike where they found "daredevil."

that's her nickname because she got adopted into a new family (the one she came from was abusive) and baca gave her a vest with a warning patch on the back. they gave her a teddy bear that every member of this particular chapter hugged. and they gave her a family.

see, she was lost and then baca saved her life. those are her words. and no one messes with a baca child (that's what the patch says). her past doesn't matter. these people left work, stopped cleaning the house, skipped softball games... they dropped what they were doing to ride all night long to find one lost child.

her new nickname is her new identity with her new family and her brothers and sisters are the community of baca members. she used to be one person, but now she's changed. she's a whole new person.

thanks to the love of one group of bikers, someone can experience salvation.

new year's resolution

2006-12-14T10:10:00.000-06:00

here's an awesome list of great new year's resolutions.

i like how some of them are serious (the first one is my favorite serious one) and then there are joking ones like, "call your mom."

to that i say... "i'll call your mom..."

chuck norris fights gay babies in new episode

2006-12-14T08:48:00.000-06:00

walker, texas ranger might be in syndication, but he still isn't afraid to sound off about the dangers of babies turning gay.

i read this article after megan blogged about it.

it might not have the same advertisement on the side if you click the link, so i'll just provide it to you here...

come on... how can you honestly want your readers to take your writing seriously when you've got the roundhouse master grinning at you.

plus, the ad basically makes fun of itself... ever seen these things?

it's actually a good idea. i would click on that (in fact, i will after this post). plus, it sounds like it's a link to a chuck norris blog. i can't tell you how fast i would/will add that to my rss feed!

more clarification

2006-12-13T21:37:00.000-06:00

while that original controversial post may have seemed like i've got something against northwoods, i don't.

in fact, it's quite the opposite.

i still recommend northwoods and all its ministries to anyone looking for a church.

yeah, i had a bad experience there. big deal. there are literally thousands of others that are having outstanding experiences there all the time. and i believe it's really God working there.

i also have to point out, i met my hot wife-to-be there...

...so how could i NOT like that church???

(yeah, that's her picture. you can tell even at age 2 that she was going to be a knock-out)

so like i said, just because i don't feel that it's the church for me, i don't feel that it's a bad place. on the contrary. i think it's a place that God has used to touch countless lives, and continues to use to touch countless more.

go to church this sunday. try northwoods if you haven't already. it's a great place full of amazing people.

don't get me wrong

2006-12-13T21:27:00.000-06:00

yeah, one more leadership blog. i swear, if you have a long pause on blogging, once you start again, it spills out all over.

don't hold it in, man. just blog.

ok, here's the meat of this post...

sarah was just telling me about someone in a staff meeting one time pointed out that "this church focuses on leadership a lot, and that's good because God has given some gifts of leadership, but he's also given some gifts of servitude."

i have to change that a little...

God has given SOME to lead. and God has given MOST to serve.

and i agree, anyone in a leadership role should focus and be taught constantly on how to be a leader and how to be a BETTER leader. after all, i'm the overly critical servant. i want my leader to keep improving. i want my leaders to focus on their skills as a leader.

but i think this lady's point was that while focusing on leadership is an excellent attribute, there needs to be more focusing on serving.

especially for leaders.

remember how i mentioned that my boss doesn't know how to do my job? it's because she hasn't humbled herself to a servant's level. she's above that and therefore can't reach her people.

leadership training is great. and while i'm know part of of leadership training is focused on serving, it needs to be the center point. because, after all, the point of a leader is to get the serving done.

and how can a leader get a job done that he/she isn't a master at doing in the first place?

i want my leader to be the best servant.

follow up: problem with authority

2006-12-13T21:15:00.000-06:00

this is the advice i get most regarding my opinion of leadership.

"you're so harsh on leadership. no one's perfect. of course you won't be completely satisfied with everyone."

to these naysayers, i have this to say...

if no one is perfect, and i will never have a perfect person to follow, then why shouldn't i question them?

i know going into any leadership/follower relationship that neither one of us is perfect, so why not push back if something doesn't feel right?

just one more facet of the leadership issue.

problem with authority

2006-12-13T20:07:00.000-06:00

i've made it pretty obvious.

i think there's too much focus on leadership, and not enough focus on serving.

i could sum it up by linking to some scripture on biblegateway. but i won't. i've got more to say than a quote, and more to grapple with than one idea. and if i'm ever going to get comfortable with leadership in any form, i'm going to need to talk it out.

and if you're offended by any of this... fine. leave a comment if it will help. i want feedback. i want other points of view. but i want constructive criticism.

here's my big issue... i won't follow someone blindly.

i've got a problem with authority. i know this. i've always had it. i just don't like being bossed around. it's for a lot of reasons, really. at work, i feel that the leadership that is chosen is very often undeserving and underqualified. i'll go out on the cockiness limb and say that i have more knowledge than a lot of the supervisors where i work. my boss right now has no idea what i do. how do you follow that?

also, i've always been fed the "i'm in charge and THAT'S why" line too many times. it was my mom's favorite phrase growing up. ever been pulled over by that officer who just seems like a jerk? ever wonder why he treats you like you're a nobody? because he can. someone has given him the power to take up your time.

for whatever reason, i am extremely critical of whom i follow. i'm extremely skeptical of whom i follow.

i refuse to follow someone out of sheer blind faith.

it's a human thing. everyone does it. but yeah, i consider myself a christ follower. but if you consider yourself a christ follower, then i want you to really think about this next question...

why did you choose jesus? why are you choosing to follow him?

that was a choice. he doesn't make you. you get to decide.

do you follow him because he's a bad leader? do you follow him because he's a pretty decent guy?

or do you follow him because of what he's done for you? did you decide to dedicate your entire life to someone whom you believe is someone you would like to be?

now, here comes the wormhole...

i don't feel that i've found a leader i can follow yet (with the exception of christ).

why is that?

i have to wonder this... if i had experienced a great leader, would i follow him/her completely?

as honestly as i can answer, i have to say...

...probably not.

i'm always going to be skeptical. i'm always going to question someone's authority.

but i challenge anyone to prove to me that that is wrong. what if i just followed the first person with authority that came along? that's blindly following leadership. that's not questioning decisions. that's eating whatever is fed to you...

for now, i refuse to follow something that isn't up to my standards. for now, i hold that my standards are where i want them to be.

i know that i will always have a problem sooner or later with the authority over me. but i've factored that into my standards. i have no expectations of perfect leadership.

i just don't expect leadership to react negatively when i question them.
in fact, that's my highest standard.

i refuse to blindly follow a leader who won't encourage questioning his/her authority.

for clarification

2006-12-13T16:05:00.000-06:00

wow, i've never seen people get something so wrong.

i have to clear this up...

my last post was a POSITIVE post.

maybe it got lost in the other stuff, but i was saying that i had this bad experience with something, but since i hadn't burned the bridge (that was never my intention), i am still able to go to events and happenings. and since this bad experience, i've had some time. i don't hate northwoods. i never said that. i'm left with a bad taste in my mouth, and it's going away.

i actually sat in the chair thinking about the fun times i had. i know there are great people there, and i was missing them.

the waste of time i was talking about was the time wasted NOT laughing together and have a good time together. the time wasted was NOT the time i spent at the party. i enjoyed the party. i just know i could have enjoyed it more.

so, thanks to everyone who took a bad situation and made it worse.

i would say i appreciate your comments, but it's apparent you just want to voice your opinion without considering mine.

i'll try not to let this soil the taste in my mouth that's going away.

well... it was going away.

it's an illuuuuuusion...

2006-12-11T22:25:00.000-06:00

i just got back from the northwoods christmas party (the church, not the mall). i was able to go since sarah's on staff there.

they had good food, a magician (very crappy jokes, but the tricks were good. just very drawn out. he was able to complete 5 tricks in a 7 hour time frame), awesome dessert and a ton of people.

but, i have to be honest and say that i still have a bad taste in my mouth from that church. i know it's a great church, and the people that go there are probably happy for it. but it was just some of the things that were said that rubbed me the wrong way. sometimes, the way people say just isn't what my experience there was like.

plus, the whole thing was called the northwoods leadership christmas party.

why does it have to have that word in there? 'leadership' sarah's not a "leader," yet she was invited. it's a STAFF christmas party. the staff needs the leaders, and the leaders need the staff. why do the big wigs with the bigger paychecks get all the recognition?

maybe it's just because i come from a corporate background where i feel the leadership is corrupt and full of themselves, but i am very skeptical of anywhere that puts that much emphasis on leadership.

have you noticed how many times i've said the word "leadership" here so far? it's 8. (in one form or another). and that's the point... it's drilled into you. you're brainwashed to think that if you're not a leader, you're a nobody. i speak for the corporate world as well as the church.

yet, after all the badmouthing and the sour faces i could make, i still felt like it was a waste of time.

the evening wasn't a waste of time. the awkwardness is.

there were people there i didn't care to talk to. and it was weird to make eye contact with certain tables.

and it just doesn't make sense. we are a means to the same end. i used to have a lot of laughs with people. people on the same team.

but we wasted tonight. tonight where we could have had more laughs and made more memories.

but such is life, i suppose. people come, people go. some people go but you still have to act cordial to them in public even though you really don't feel like it.

maybe someday it won't be that way.

i don't think it has to be.

save the date

2006-12-08T22:04:00.000-06:00

save the date magnets are expensive.

but this was free.

sort of. i bought the computer, so i guess it's just already paid for.

tell me what you think.
what should be changed, what i should keep.
or should i just delete it and pay someone to do it?

i can't believe it's not photography

2006-12-01T18:23:00.000-06:00

ho
lee
cow

i came across this in the church marketing sucks discussion boards on flickr...

what you're looking at it not a photo taken by a camera. it's a painting. a digital painting to be more accurate.

take a look at the technical data for that digipainting. 1.7 gigs of space. if i put that ONE file on my iPod, it would be full. that's it... it's either 2,000 songs... or this one chicago skyline as viewed from a train stop.

just goes to show you how powerful the creative suites from adobe are.

can't wait for CS3... i'm hoping for january! ...but it would still be worth the wait if it were june.

...or july.

upmandated video

2006-11-28T18:20:00.000-06:00

i won't bother to link back to it, but i made a tiny tiny video of like one thing that happened on man day.

i finally got around to making one with some more footage and better music in it.

enjoy!

...unless you're a fem. you probably won't enjoy. you'll probably just complain.

we made the internet!!!

2006-11-27T16:16:00.000-06:00

not "made" like "create."

"made" like "made the front page."

anyway... just check us out

the password: es

i did go about getting these pictures in an unfavorable way (i used PrintKey), so i won't post the pictures since i haven't paid for them yet. but i won't feel so bad once i pay for them and scan them into my computer. maybe i'll post them then. but until i pay for them... have fun looking at me in a slightly smaller res.

holiday get togethers

2006-11-25T09:28:00.000-06:00

every night this week, i've gone to bed early.

except last night.
i was up until 2 am.

that's what happens when you surround yourself with the coolest people you know.
i gotta say, i never met a hutchison or a crow i didn't like. holly and jamin are pretty cool, too.

look at what jamin showed me...

and then brooke pointed this out
and this

plus add in about 4 hours of mafia, and you've got yourself a great evening.

i've been to some crazy parties before. ones where cops show up. ones where cops probably should have shown up. ones where you see things you swore weren't possible.

but this party didn't have any of that. and it still blows away any of the parties i was going to 3 years ago.

thanks for an awesome friday night, everyone! i can't wait for the next gettogether!!!

flags

2006-11-21T17:15:00.000-06:00

ha!

some things are just better left alone.

microwave

2006-11-20T15:44:00.000-06:00

i watched this and realized that when i bought a microwave, it's b/c i "needed" a microwave. i think i even put it on a credit card.

two stupid decisions. from now on, i think i'll plan more than an hour into my day so i can eat a baked potato and not use witchcraft.

this kind of goes along with something i've been thinking about lately.

last time i was at "big church," we had communion. then i went to mcdonald's.

how can i be taking in something representing the body of christ and his blood one minute, and then scarfing down the mcrib the next??? it really got me thinking about what sort of foods i take in. i don't want to mix my jesusflesh with rib sauce anymore.

i had a ton of homework this week

2006-11-20T15:29:00.000-06:00

...but you wouldn't know it from this.

i had been smelling something kind of funky in my apartment for a few days. but it just came and went.

then i figured out it was coming from the fridge.

so i cleaned it out.

but it was STILL in there.

then i figured out it the chicken had gone bad before it's sell by date.

i need to get a fridge air freshener.

i'm george harrison

2006-11-19T13:23:00.000-06:00

whoa... this is extremely fun!

thanks, megan!

See me morph into George Harrison

Create your own Celebrity Morph™ on MyHeritage.com

movin' on up!

2006-11-18T17:56:00.000-06:00

we might have a winner here...

it's totally confusing inside. no two rooms are colored the same. there's only one ceiling upstairs that isn't flat. and it has a fountain. plus two fireplaces.

it didn't really give me that feeling of "ok, let's try to get this. i'm done looking." but it's definitely been my favorite so far. and eli's and sarah's, too.

plus, my favorite part of it... it's geothermal heated/cooled. the utility bill in the winter would be cheaper than my utility bill in my 500 sq. ft. apartment.

monthly gas bill: around 30 bucks.
monthly electric bill: around 100 bucks.

plus, the energy conserved is waaaay better for the environment. i imagine it would be even easier to heat if we burnt more firewood... but i don't know how environmentally sound that idea is.

but who cares??? SMORES IN THE LIVING ROOM, DUDE!!!

refreshing

2006-11-18T09:08:00.000-06:00

yes... it's another relevant article.

it makes a good point.

it's easy for us to sit in our american homes with our american jobs and make american money and not even think of what people have to deal with on a daily basis.

and that's our struggle.

there are other people in other countries losing limbs and catching diseases, yet we feel impervious to any of that.

and that's our attack. that's what's killing us. we get to sit in luxury and forget that there are inhumane conditions everywhere else in the world.

it really makes me wonder why we sit here at work and worry about some customer not getting his part for a mining machine b/c he's loosing 500 grand a day.

big deal!

at least he's not ducking bullets and not knowing if he will see his kids come back from school every day.

if they even have a school to go to.

3 things

2006-11-17T12:55:00.000-06:00

if you've spent any amount of time in church, you've most likely heard a repeat somewhere along the way. it's inevitable. it's gonna happen eventually. i mean... there's only so much bible out there. not like we can go along making up new verses.

but there are three common themes i keep hearing. they seem to stick out to me.

1. forgiveness
2. obedience
3. grace

they're all related, and here's how i see them intermingling.

one and two kind of don't go together.

i mean, if you're obedient, why do you need forgiveness? that just doesn't make sense. God wants us to be obedient, then fine. we should do what we're told. obedience.

but we don't do what we're told. we know the rules, but we break them all the time. sometimes we're just angry and quit caring. sometimes we give into temptation. sometimes we just totally ignore the rules to do what we want.

so why do we keep getting forgiven? i hear it all the time, "confess your sins and you will be forgiven."

i guess we need to keep hearing this b/c we keep messing up. we keep breaking the rules.

but we also keep getting forgiven.

but why???

b/c of number 3.

grace.

and like a nerd, i'm going to quote Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.

"What Grace is given me, let it pass to him. Let him be spared. Save him."

i always liked that line, and knowing that i am disobedient, but i'm forgiven, this shows me what grace is. grace is a life-saving device.

it's there for when we need forgiveness even when we're undeserving.

fired!

2006-11-14T18:55:00.000-06:00

i got tired of things not working with safari.

so i got firefox.

only to find that it has different annoyances.

some things are better...
but some things are worse.

i do enjoy frames within the window.

but that's all i can think of now.

and i really hate that pop-up pictures don't pop the right way. and the slideshow on remax.com won't play. at least with safari i got to see all of the pictures. ...and i got to see all of the picture i'm trying to view.

stupid browsers.

provide an encouraging word

2006-11-14T10:24:00.000-06:00

alright, i won't link to yet another relevant article...

but i will quote one.

I want to remind myself what it felt like when people indifferently shrugged off my frustrations. I will try to keep potential difficulties and frustrations from holding me back from supporting new ideas that come along.

Most importantly, I will pray that when someone approaches me with concerns about the new ministry they care passionately about, that I will walk beside them and put an arm around their shoulders, instead of indifferently shrugging my own.

this part really says something for me. the whole article was great, but i can usually find one part that stands alone, and these two paragraphs are just that.

to sum up this article's feeling, i'm just going to copy what relevant used for a tagline. "One person's struggle to not cave into apathy and find God while beginning a new ministry."

i've experienced this. and it's amazing who the people turn out to be that indifferently shrug off your frustrations. or who just turn your frustrations into their own.

but i'll try to keep a positive attitude b/c i know some of them were in my frustrated shoes at once.

one more quote to end this post...

"It should be comforting to learn that I am not alone in having experienced this, but instead it frightens me."

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god_article.php?id=7247

traveling

2006-11-14T08:39:00.000-06:00

as sarah and i plan stuff out (the wedding, but more importantly the honeymoon), i've been thinking about flying a lot lately.

then at confession this weekend jr had the high school and jr high pastors speak. and they talked about life as a journey and WHO you're traveling with and WHAT you bring along.

this relevant article (i know there's a lot of them) seemed to go along quite nicely with that talk.

brian (jr high guy) told us about he and his family (wife and two kids) went to disneyland. it's the greatest place on earth, right? but how fun would it have been if he would have gone and pretended his family wasn't there?

answer: not very.

then aaron (sr high guy) brought out some luggage and talked about what we bring along and being weighed down by it.

all very good travel advice.

i'm going to try to remember this on the 25 hour flight to sydney next september. maybe i'll leave the ipod in the luggage compartment and make some 'stralian friends.

see what happens...

2006-11-14T08:29:00.000-06:00

when you don't blog regularly?

i was driving to work today realizing how scatter-brained this previous post really was.

that was the culmination of about 3 or 4 different things running through my mind that i've been thinking about blogging... and then they all ended up in one.

oops.

i hate reading posts like that (in fact, i usually just stop reading halfway through), and i hate writing posts like that (in fact, i try to stop writing about halfway through).

so, i apologize for the crappy post. i'll try to post more frequently with one deal at a time.

self-esteem campaign

2006-11-14T08:16:00.000-06:00

i got this from megan and her shard items.

that woman wasn't all that bad-looking before she started... and then she ends up looking pretty good afterwards. but wow... it took a lot of work. and i would argue it's not even that dramatic of an improvement. she looks good afterwards, yeah. i'll admit that. but was it worth all that work just to make her neck look longer and her eyes look bigger???

no wonder marriages fail when guys expect their wives to look like that. maybe if every husband was a combination makeup artist/hair dresser/photographer/graphic artist, then they could be married to billboard-worthy supermodels.

but to be realistic... girls wear sweatpants. and there's nothing wrong with that.

i'm not an adult

2006-11-13T19:43:00.000-06:00

but i pretend to be one in real life.

sarah and i went to get preapproved for this today. and while we were at cefcu, we went ahead and combined our accounts so we have joint checking/savings/miscellaneous banking stuff together.

i walked out of the credit union with a whole new perspective.

first off...
we can't afford that house.

after we escrowed in all the taxes and home insurance and all the other home-buying crap, that house was going to cost us over a thousand dollars a month.

is a third of your income supposed to go to housing? really???

we went to cyd's afterwards to talk to them about our desserts for the reception. BEST DESSERT I'VE EVER HAD. so good it made me nauseous. ya know how they say, "don't go to the grocery store hungry?" well, the saying should extend its warning to say "or dessert lady's."

i was presented with a plate full of so many confections that i didn't even have time to think to take a picture of it... i just inhaled it. then i realized that pastries on an empty stomach is worse than an empty stomach.

all the while still a little disappointed that sarah and i can't afford our dream home at age 24. (which might have had something to do with my upset stomach).

as i grow up, i have to learn not to get the best of the best right away. sometimes it's better not to splurge on the best quality item. it pays to save. and that's what we have to do. instead of looking at houses at the top of our range, we need to be looking at houses at the bottom of our range. why do we need to start at the top?

oh that's right... we're american. we're used to getting what we want when we want it.

i'm becoming intensely aware of the fact that i can leave a dessert lady's business, drive miles away in 40 degree weather to a schlotzkie's, and order any sort of soup, sandwich, or pizza that i want.

i was in church this weekend and i realized that i cannot go the rest of my life w/o knowing how the rest of the world lives. for all my struggles, i still don't have to worry about where to get water from in the morning. i turn a lever and it comes pouring out. RIGHT IN MY OWN HOME!

it's easy for me to believe in God. i need to go somewhere where people doubt God, and rightfully so. a friend who is getting back from africa on the 18th showed me a book someone gave her a few days before she left this past week.

there was one page of an old woman whose face was not quite as pretty as my baseball glove. the text next to her full page picture had a line that's stuck with me. it was a list of our choices on a day-to-day basis. that list was full of crap like, "cappucino or frappucino? high octane or low octane? button up or polo? sedan or SUV? spring or mineral?" the list for this old lady went something like, "blue dress or blue dress? muddy water or muddy water? walk or run? candles or darkness?" the one line that i mentioned that stuck with me...
"sleep with the fisherman to earn money, or let my grandchildren starve?"

how can that woman even believe in in a god at all when she hasn't experienced anything that would show her God's love????

if that woman told me she didn't believe in God, i wouldn't blame her.

and i don't think i can go the rest of my life worrying about which fast food to eat when this woman worries about which meals are even available.

could i really live a life that where it's easy for me to live? do i understand what life is and what salvation is when i have everything handed to me???

suddenly... i don't think i need a dream home.

to be relevant

2006-11-10T09:56:00.000-06:00

i haven't had anything great come from my rss feed on relevant for a while, but i liked this one today.

as is typical with relevant's articles, the last couple paragraphs are the best.

plus, it talks about fire being cleansing. which i like. i'm still amazed at that experience.

plus, my brother and i are firebugs. if it burns, we're probably interested. if it explodes, we're definitely interested.

fire fall down, fire fall down, fire fall down
on us
we pray.

make giving fair

2006-11-08T16:33:00.000-06:00

after that last post, i came across this in my rss feed.

again, i don't think i need to say much more than what it already said.

but i have been thinking a lot lately about where my money goes. especially planning the honeymoon. it's seriously expensive to fly to australia. everybody's saying that we should take it if we can b/c "when else will you get to do something like that???"

well, when else will we be able to feed a whole village for a month with one monetary gift?

sarah was thinking about giving donations to things instead of giving party favors at the reception.
cool idea except some people might actually want something in their hands... right now i'm thinking... "too bad."
sarah even went as far to say that she was thinking about asking everyone to spend the money the would be using for a gift and just donating to something in our name and giving us a card with what you donated to.

good idea except... we need stuff. and i don't think some people would want to do that.

those are two crappy excuses, so we might still end up asking that.

but i swear, if you give us a toaster, or a ton of towels, you'll get pictures in the mail of us returning that stuff.

and then a card of a donation in your name to a charity.

for the price of a toaster.

all this to say... i quit tithing to church. xxxchurch has an online donation feature, and it took under two minutes. and i'm completely on-board with what they do. there aren't too many places you can give money to where you can say that.

it's a consumer's world out there.
and there's no better way to make your money count than to give it all away.

sobering fact #23

2006-11-08T16:17:00.000-06:00

reading relevant, i came across this.

and felt ill.

if christians had given the traditional 10 percent tithe of their income to their churches in 2004, instead of the 2.56 percent that they actually gave, there would have been an additional $164 billion available, according to a report released in october called "the state of church giving through 2004." if the churches chose to funnel just $70 - $80 billion of that additional income to missions and humanitarian works, the basic needs of every person on the globe would be provided.

i'll just let this post speak for itself.

brothers gotta hug!

2006-11-06T18:13:00.000-06:00

this is for eli

apparently you can't embed video on a comment on livejournal.

Make your own Razz!

cynicism

2006-11-05T12:24:00.000-06:00

i realize my posting this week has been pretty cynical.

i guess when you go through that punk phase in highschool/college, you don't lose all of your ideology. for now, that's a good thing. i'll keep it.

i had been wondering if all those halloween posts and posts about what sucks about church/christianity were over the top. i was supersensitive to any feedback and i think i took it personally. or it made me angry when someone else took it personally.

i'll still stand by my complaints. the church is never going to be perfect, but when i see a blatant disregard for an attempt at perfection, i got angry.

perfection for me is admitting you're not perfect, and (here's the big part) NOT COMING DOWN ON OTHERS FOR NOT BEING PERFECT.

plus, i have to seemingly go back on my post about using christian phrases on nonbelievers.

i've had wild success with the term, "i'll pray for you."

it's my new secret weapon.

something awemazing happens when you show someone you're concerned for them. concerned so much, in fact, that you will go to God with something about them.

i have a friend at work who i've deemed "the sister i've never wanted." (sounds harsh, but it's really a term of endearment). she's awesome. totally innocent and caring. and i've felt for a long time that i should invite her and her husband to church.

she's never been inside a church.

yet, when she was talking to me about her husband needing a new job (she was on 1st shift and he was on 2nd), i got really nervous, but i told her i would pray for her.

this was a string of e-mail conversations, so i was pretty anxious to see what she would write back.

she ended up saying she would really appreciate that. but what's even MORE impressive is that she started telling me that she really felt like she needed to pray more and rely more on God than herself and how she knew she wouldn't be anything without him.

wildy successful interaction. this girl who had never set foot inside a church is hoping for God to care enough to listen to her. now where did she learn that?!?

i have other examples, but i'll keep them to myself.

all this to say, i've been too cynical. i have a critical mind and a perfectionist personality. that combined with the occasional flare-up of my DTM punk days, i admit i get too judgmental of the church.

i still won't blindly follow a pastor who wants to broadcast that nonbelievers are being laughed at, or any pastor for that reason. after all, you pastor types are just regular people and want to be held at regular people reckoning.

but i won't go against the message i'm trying to live myself by demeaning someone else for their actions.

soldiers are dying to protect your right to burn the flag they swore to, and i won't get in your way of "humbling" nonbelievers in order to show them christ's love. if i did that, then wouldn't i be a hypocrite? i want sinners to feel loved, and i should want believers to feel loved.

just don't expect me to agree with everything coming from the pulpit.

half in/half out

2006-11-05T10:39:00.000-06:00

i read an awesome article by david crowder in relevant a while back. i wish i could link to it, but you'll just have to start reading relevant. crowder's got an article in each issue now (except for the most recent one...).

and it's always something to wrap your mind around.

here's a paragraph from his article, "a costly faith: lessons from a pawnshop van." it's in the sept_oct 2006 issue.

"i think we live in a space divided. i think jesus insisted that the kingdom of heave was not just a apace we would later inhabit, but also on that he was bringing here and now. that it is surrounding us. that we are walking around in it. that we are bringing it. that the eternal begins now. here. we exist with one foot here in the early and one in the eternal. yet we rarely feel it. we rarely live with a sense that someone should take a picture. that what is happening right now bears documentation. that we're in two places at one."

crowder was talking about how we don't think about death nearly enough. we're in the present, and nothing else.

but the part that really got me thinking was that we're in two places at once. if you're a believer, you know that your body will end someday, but you've got a soul and it's unstoppable. it goes... somewhere. and the two are related. your soul speaks to your body and your body can override the soul.

so we're really a soul, since that's the eternal part of us, and we're stuck in this fleshy thing here... what do we really look like? what are we really thinking? what are our personalities really like? the phrase "fish out of water" comes to mind.

these thoughts have stuck with me for a while now. (there are more thoughts, but i won't run rampant with them right now).

while i was doing some homework, i was reviewing a classmates website (it's required that we review two of our classmates projects and comment on them).

this guy likes photography, and scuba diving. so guess what his site is about? underwater photography! well... sort of. it's more about diving than photography, but he's got a lot of photos on his site.

i saw this one and had a thought.

that thing (whatever it is) is beautiful. i can imagine it underwater swaying with the current. it's got so many surfaces and colors on it, it's a lot to look at. that one little thing probably has as much surface area as we do.

but i bet it's ugly when it washes up on the beach.
i bet you wouldn't even know what it is if you saw it.
you might even think it's garbage washed ashore.
and it might hurt if you step on it (i don't know that for sure, but it looks potentially dangerous!)

so let's set this up in an analogy...

if that sea creature belongs in the sea, but ends up on the earth and it is totally out of its element and struggles just to survive, then if we're a soul, but we're on earth, are we struggling to survive? are we really more beautiful than we perceive b/c we're not at home? can we even know what we really are when we're just visiting? has anyone mistaken you for garbage? (or have you ever treated someone like garbage?) do we hurt people when they step on us? if someone came by to throw you back into the ocean, would you sting them?

more and more rampant thoughts... but i'll just sit on this for a while. i like nature analogies, but i don't like being stung.

and i don't like thinking that i'm messing up here, while i'm existing somewhere else, too.

the tagline from crowder's article...

"jesus insisted that the kingdom of heaven was not just a space we would later inhabit ... "

blogging off steam ?

2006-11-03T16:51:00.000-06:00

this one isn't an angry one. but it's every bit as emotional for me. in fact, i almost feel like making a new blog just for this post. i'm not trying to air dirty laundry... this honestly helps.

i know it feels wrong to admit fault when you don’t feel like you’re wrong. when you know you’re right.

but i’m coming to you with this, i’m asking you to be the one to initiate the “sorries” because i think of everyone, you’re the one that is the most grown up. you are the reasonable one.

i’m not asking you to go to your mom and say, “i was totally wrong, you were totally right. i’ll do whatever it takes to set things right,” but i am asking you to be the one who works at it. make grandma, your mom, feel like things are better. she doesn’t have to be convinced that everything is perfect. that would be unreasonable even for her, but just try to give her something to look forward to. something she can’t deny is better than before you talked to her. i would love to see you be the one who puts forth the effort to do what it takes for the other person to feel better. to feel loved.

after all, that’s all family is called to do. we just have to love each other. and it’s not always easy, and it may feel like defeat even, but it’s what each one of us has to do.

destruction

2006-11-02T21:47:00.000-06:00

best use of a blender to date

time to join the circus

2006-11-02T20:49:00.000-06:00

i can't believe i just did this... i was heating up a cup of water for green tea, and there was a pocket knife on top of my microwave (b/c duh... where else am i going to keep a pocket knife?) and i was just bored for the minute 20 that it takes to heat up a cup of water when i hit the "beverage" button.

so i picked up the knife, opened it, heard that familiar "click," threw it across the room, and then did THIS.

my mind instantly jumped to how cool macgyver, john locke, mr. t, walker texas ranger, crocodile dundee, and yoda would be proud of me.

mystery shopper

2006-11-02T08:15:00.000-06:00

awesome

this got me thinking...

each one of those steps this couple went through to get to the service... parking lot, greeter, kid check-in, coffee, service... do they all communicate together?

or is it just one group doing the coffee, one group doing the children check-in, another separate entity in charge of this and of that?

how often do we think of each department as part of a whole? it's the whole package that people see... not just how the coffee tastes or just the greeters... ya gotta be sensitive to everything. b/c that's what newbies see.

everything.

one last halloween post...

2006-11-01T13:23:00.000-06:00

i think this guy has it right.

and not just about halloween, about everything the church does.

this leads into a post i've been pondering a while... christians are weird, man.

yeah yeah, we're called to be different, but let's be realistic.

if you start and end every sentence in a prayer with "lord," are you really, honestly, SERIOUSLY thinking about what you're saying? shouldn't you be MORE mindful of your words when you pray? you're talking to God, man.

and i'm starting a list... a list of words/phrases that christians need to properly define instead of just saying all the time. or better yet... just quit using them. the rest of the world thinks it's weird, man.

honor
glory
praise
(sometimes those three in one phrase)
sanctify
glorify your name
beyond a shadow of a doubt
calling everyone "friend" or "brother/sister."
_____ to your name (insert any number of christian nouns here. subexamples; glory, honor, praise)
thwart
deliverER
everlasting
redemption (with the exception of shawshank)
arise
upon
among
be lifted on high
*****there is a TON of things to do with the heart that just don't make sense to unchurched people that we shouldn't use on them right away. a few of them are...
hearts speaking
having a heart specifically for something other than pumping blood (subexample; a heart for missions)
jesus living there
working on hearts (not in the surgery way)
hearts being spoken to
hardened hearts

also, we should quit naming ministries after scientific words. it conjures up too much science fiction, nerdy, hocus-pocus imagery. and we all know that sci-fi nerds just go to church to hit on chicks.

examples:

fusion
catalyst
area 51
the God zone
ignition

it's probably better to just name these groups what they are... "sr. high ministry, jr. high ministry, people out of high school ministry."

actually... nevermind that. just get a just get a cool/normal name.

and of course, these lists go on and on. but i won't post all of them here. feel free to post your own additions. i doubt this list will ever be complete.

i have to point out, though... i'm not saying christians should be exactly like the rest of the world. we just shouldn't be perceived as weird. nobody wants to join the nerds playing magic: the gathering at perkin's, and nobody wants to join a group of people that talk funny (like nerds playing magic: the gathering at perkin's).

all i'm saying is... why do we have to talk like medieval knights?

do you remember being in high school and reading shakespeare? well, the teachers all just knew that it was a great story. but you hated it. it was boring and didn't make much sense. it was written in english, but who could tell?

then you see a movie adapted for the screen from a shakespeare play and it's actually good.

then you realize why teachers like shakespeare... it's actually a good story... it's just clouded by weird words that are out of style, taught by people who don't like change, and NOT updated.

so i'm begging... please, please, PLEASE don't teach shakespeare at church. and don't try to impress those sinners at work with your holy talk. they'll just think you're a nerd if you ask them to come to SynRgy. then they'll tell everyone you play magic and had to cut your ponytail to work there.

oh yeah...

2006-10-31T22:22:00.000-06:00

i keep making a habit of this... but i forgot something in that last post.

jamin noticed on the busride back from the taft home that someone had busted a window on the church.

happy halloween!

don't those people know the devil is laughing at them??!??!?!!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??

halloween turned out happy

2006-10-31T22:00:00.000-06:00

tonight i did fear factors for riverside's dream center peoria. it's a blaintant rip off of nbc's fear factor, but for kids. it's basically an excuse to hand out loads of candy for doing menial feats.

sarah and i had the bear-o-phobia game. you throw hoola hoops around a stuffed bear on a stick. everyone won. every time.

we did that for almost two hours then we rode a bus to the taft homes downtown. the bus was half chaperones, half kids from the housings.

as each kid got on, we took their name down for a permission slip and then they sat down with an adult of their choice.

a little boy sat with sarah and my seat was empty. right off the bat i hit it off with sarah's boy. he wasn't wearing a costume, but his shirt did say something about candy giving him ENERGY!

his name was eric, too! so he thought i was totally cool.
...until he asked if i had ever kissed a girl.

to his dismay, i have. he covered his face like only a five year old can and told me i was disgusting. i assured him i wasn't b/c i play sports with other boys. he told me to never kiss girls and this seemed to be all that was required of me to be a cool eric again.

he liked my glasses and my hair. and he liked to play with my hair, but i told him his was cooler than mine. he thought mine was cool b/c it was curly. (it's not curly... especially compaired to his but whatever.) i showed him pictures of millie on my phone and he asked if she could be our dog. and he wanted to play sports with me. at my house.

once we got in we went through the maze that is the dream center (the old YWCA in case you didn't know). we got up the stairs to the two gyms and there was a police officer standing there, and erich told me he was afraid of the police b/c they were mean. after that the held my hand wherever we went.

he liked to play the games more than he liked getting the candy, and even picked a piece up to give back to the lady handing out candy (she gave it to him anyway).

he was thirsty so we got him an icee and sat down for the little children's church to start. once miss aubry started talking, he told me that his mom went to God. and that God's your best friend. he's nice.

erich's right... God is nice.

so then it was time for the bus ride home. his older sister was there and took his bag of candy home for him.

that might have been a mistake... he told me his sister probably lied and was eating all his candy right then. i really hope she gave it to him... i felt like crap after he said that. but at least he had that balloon i tied to his wrist... right?

we get back to the taft homes and it was time for erich to go home. he stood up and headed for the aisle and realized i wasn't coming. he got that little kid lower lip sticking out and said, "i thought i was coming home with you."

i wanted to cry at that moment, but i told him i would just see him later.

for some reason, our bus didn't just take right off after the kids were off. we creeped along through the parking lot at about the same pace a five year old with a balloon now tied to his index finger walks.

i yelled, "BYE ERICH!" from the bus window and waved.

as we stopped before turning out of the parking lot, i saw him run up to a door and go inside... but the balloon stayed outside... and i said, "oh... erich... your balloon!" like he could hear me from inside the bus. and then the door opened and shut about 8 times before the boy and the balloon both made it inside.

a hilarious end to a sad turn of events.

thankfully, i found out, he's a regular at riverside. i think i WILL see him again when sarah and i start doing children's church on wednesday nights.

and i'm REALLY looking forward to it.

happy halloween?

2006-10-31T12:21:00.000-06:00

i've got to say something about this.

i think it's ridiculous.

let me just run down a short list of what i disagree with.

· i'm not lining my life up with the devil if i celebrate halloween. i'm not sacrificing babies, i'm going to a costume party.

· i know beyond a shadow of a doubt (waaaaay overused christian cliche') that i'm saved. and i'm not a sinner b/c i'm not opposed to halloween.

· giving candy to a kid is not sacrificing to a false god.

· i don't need to fear satan as an enemy. yeah, i believe he attacks, but i believe my God defeats.

· children wearing costumes does not lower resistance to witchcraft. (what about all the little girls who dress up like angels???)

· where did those facts come from? i found this website that says the origins are totally different.

and the worst of all... he actually tells people that the devil is laughing at them.

is that going to change your mind? do you like to hear that someone is laughing at you???

we had a survey at church this weekend, and i put in the comments section that if they want to reach people, they need to talk nicely TO them and they need to talk nicely ABOUT them.

this has been weighing on my mind a lot this past weekend. how people (especially pastors) can just say things that will obviously offend people as long as they think it's justified in their minds. how can you tell a congregation of people who are possibly borderline about this whole jesus business as it is that they're being laughed at???

apparently it's ok to offend if your intentions are right.

but more on that later... that's another topic for another post.

this is about halloween. and the fact that i see a side of my pastor that i didn't really know about.

it doesn't change anything. i still love riverside and their willingness to help the community, it's still my home church.

...but wow. this isn't the way to reach the community.

i guess i'm not a pastor, but i know what's worked and what hasn't.

you can't tell a jehovah's witness that they belong to a cult (i know someone who took that approach in jr. high and regrets it now), and you can't tell sinners that they're terrible people.

jesus didn't come to earth to point out everyone's mistakes. he came here to show the earth God's love.

so my advice to holy rollers slamming the door in the face of children looking for candy...

the only area of king's post i agree with...

show them love.

follow-up

2006-10-31T07:38:00.000-06:00

after talking to sarah more about this post, i remembered josh blick's great one-liner from sunday night, and how much it relates the that night's events.

he said, "you might have thought you were going to come here tonight to hear jr speak, but we're going to hear God speak."

whoa...

fire fall down

2006-10-30T10:33:00.000-06:00

something totally awemazing/freaky/thought provoking happened last night at spent...

just as a recap, spent is once a month at riverside. it's worship in place of a dude speaking. and i love it.

josh (lead singer/our wedding photographer) was up there talking inbetween songs (i always love the things he has to say. sometimes i want to ask him if he really thinks he should be a photographer b/c he sounds more like a rob bell), and he prayed that God sends fire to cleanse us of the impurities in our lives. and i thought to myself, "i bet they sing united's 'fire fall down.'"
AND THEY DID!

and those words finally made more sense to me. i always thought of those lyrics in the negative connotation "fire and brimstone." but finally they had a positive connotation. the fire that falls down is a metaphor for being forgiven. and changed.

then a few minutes later, sarah looked at me and said, "what exactly do those words mean? fire fall down? i don't want to get burned!" or something like that... i might have added that "i don't want to get burned" part...

so i told her what had just made sense to me and it made more sense to her.

then another few minutes goes by and
tim schraeder gets up on stage. he got up there and said something along the lines of, "we sing this song, and some of you might not know what they mean." and he proceeded to tell us the story of pentecost. how everyone was changed by an experience they had after jesus was crucified. all these people were doing was praying and God showed up. how would you react if all of a sudden you could see God?

so immediately i had to go up to the alter and tell tim what just happened. i stayed there the rest of the night.

afterwards, i was talking to confession's pastor, jr dakin, and told him the story. he told me that tim had felt like God was pushing him to get on stage and tell us that. but tim prayed back to God, "if jr comes over and stands next to me, i'll go up there and say that." i think it was right then that jr chose to walk over to tim and put a hand on his shoulder.

tim told jr, "i think i got something here," and jr said, "get up there."

all this after sarah and i were just talking about how we don't really believe people when they say, "i heard God's voice. he TALKED TO ME!"

well, last night, i didn't hear God's voice. but i did hear God speak through tim. and i'm not counting it as a coincidence. i'm choosing to believe that God communicates with us whether we believe it or not.

no really...

2006-10-28T21:26:00.000-05:00

school IS fun!

ok, this semester is fun. right now i'm in a web design class and i get to use dreamweaver 8 every day.

note how i said GET to use... not HAVE to use.

i take quarters and each quarter is only 10 weeks long. my other class is only half a class so it's 5 weeks long, starting my 6th week into this current quarter.

the other class i start in a little over a week is graphic communications. i already bought my books a month ago and i'm actually looking forward to reading them.

but the main purpose of this post is to piss and moan about something...

my personal interest website is progressing along pretty nicely so far (i don't want to link to it... i guess that seems too egotistical and i'm probably too self-conscious about it anyway...), and i'm really looking forward to making websites of my own for stuff down the road. plus, it's an awesome way to build a portfolio. just put a link in a resume (which are mostly electronic documents these days anyhow) and bang... ya got my portfolio.

so i looked into buying the URL "www.mediumgreen.com" just to keep things consistent with this blog.

apparently it's already been taken.

by someone who's really into fiestaware.

i won't link to it out of spite, but i'm pretty disappointed.

who actually likes fiestaware so much that they would have websites about it??? seriously man... it's plates that you hardly ever eat on. why waste time with that???

just goes to show that there are no original ideas. even when i thought i was making something up (b/c how can a color be a medium? that's like trying to buy dry mud), someone else had already thought of it.

*p.s. i know megan likes fiestaware, and i've seen your lovely display in your dining room. in fact... i probably moved it there for you. but please don't take offense to my hatred of all things fiesta. i already had a bad history with it at bergner's when i worked there... and now they just stole my only idea so far for a website. you'd be a little disappointed, too. right?

fightoffyourdemons

2006-10-28T01:01:00.000-05:00

i just got back from a dashboard confessional/brand new concert in rosemont. it's about 1 am, and i have to admit i've turned into an old man and i'm not used to staying up this late.

so here's the ray of light that shone through to me in my moments of insanity for my "late night."

why is it called a funeral home? a funeral is an event for a dead person, and a home is where you go to live.

also, the phrase of the night: power nap.

that is all.

thank you.

to protect and serve

2006-10-26T06:50:00.000-05:00

i just got back from our session with josh and robbyn from breuer photography.

it was pretty cool, man. they’re like our age and have a good sense of design. if i wanted to be a photographer, i would look to them for mentors.

anyway, i rode my sportster to the dog park in pekin, and sarah drove my truck with our bikes in the back and millie in the front.

the session was about 45 minutes long, and i pushed my harley out onto the grass about 10 feet from the parking lot. we got some cool pictures, then some cool pictures on the bicycles.

as josh and robbyn are putting their equipment away, a pekin park district officer turns into the dog park, totally bypassing the parking lot, and fording a small but steep hill to drive all the way around the end of the parking lot where my bike was and turn around on the grass and pull up behind my bike.

i finished putting the bike in the back of my truck and walked over towards the bike and the officer now parked behind it.

he rolled his window down and aimed the camera at me. i asked him if there was a problem, and he answered me with a gruff, “is that your harley?

yes, he answered my question with a question.

i told him it was, and that we were just getting our engagement pictures taken. he told me to get my bike off the grass before he gave me a ticket. and to read the sign, that i can’t go past a certain point.

according to the sign, i wasn’t past the point. i was still behind it, just not on the gravel parking lot.

i declined to point this fact out to the officer since we had already finished our session.

this was one of those times where i believe i had every right to say, “look, no need to be rude, we’re just getting pictures taken. i don’t want to split hairs, but we’re not technically past that point, so we’re not doing anything wrong.”

let me tell you, it was hard to bite my tongue. but i swear if that guy had ruined our photo shoot, i might have had a few more words to say.

so instead of getting arrested today for slander, assaulting an officer, illegally parking, and who knows what else, i’m blogging about it.

coming up next…

blogging off steam.

check off

2006-10-21T09:45:00.000-05:00

here... we've got this stuff done.
stop asking.

the church
the reception hall
the photographers
the rehearsal dinner restaurant
the rings (sorry... no pictures yet.)
and sarah's picking out the flowers today.

i never thought i would say this... "good thing i had to work a saturday!" that means i don't have to go look at flower arrangements. if it were up to me, i'd just go by smell. b/c i don't remember what any flowers looked like at any wedding i've been to, but i remember a good-smelling flower when i sniff it.

i think we're ahead right now. i just have to find two more ushers, figure out what to wear, and get my dudes some gifts.

here's part of my gift to my ushers/groomsmen. everyone who's ever worn a tux knows how uncomfortable the shoes are. well, not my dudes! their feet will be comfortable allllllll niiiiiiiight loooooooong. cuz a wedding party ain't a party unless the guys have comfortable shoes.

man day: a success

2006-10-17T20:29:00.000-05:00

remember man day?

you probably don't if you have a vagina. b/c you weren't invited.

but here's a little something from that infamous day.

caution: you may not be entertained if you have girl parts.

blogging off steam

2006-10-16T10:38:00.000-05:00

dude... we know you wrote a book. and that's pretty impressive. i know i would be crazy if i had something for sale on amazon with my name on it. just writing a book alone is a feat.

but STOP BLOGGING ABOUT IT! i swear if jesus were here, he'd come into your blog and throw a tantrum. just stop blogging about it, man. your blog is worth reading, but i honestly just skip over it now. if i see you blog about how available your book is on amazon one more time, i'm unsubscribing.

but why?

2006-10-15T09:24:00.000-05:00

while doing dishes in aforementioned posts, i had a thought about the old adage, "never stop asking 'why'."

most seem to interpret this phrase as keep asking why for as long as you live.

while that is well and good, and would create a ton of senior citizens asking why well past retirement, i believe there is a more child-like aspect to it.

i think we would get further if we kept asking why about the same issue.

let me give you an example.

why are trees rigid?
because they build up resistance while they're growing up to the wind constantly pushing on them.
why do they build up resistance?
because the more the wind blows, trees produce more and more chemicals that cause rigidity.
why do trees create chemicals?

and this is where i keep getting stuck...

the only answer i can come up with after about 4 "whys" is, "because that's how God wants it."

try the old "why is the sky blue?"
because when you combine the particles of the elements in our atmosphere, it creates blue.
why does that combination create blue?
because certain combinations create that certain shade of blue.
why does combining things change colors?
because that's how God wanted it.

i usually don't even get that far. i was stretching there.

i think we all need to be more childish (some people already are, but more childish in THIS aspect) and keep asking why over and over and over and over again.

if we all did that, i believe we would eventually realize that logically, there's an undeniable design to everything. we aren't here by accident, we didn't arrive here by millions of years of evolution.

we are created.

iLove iMovie

2006-10-15T01:08:00.000-05:00

photo booth with built in iSight.

literally hours of fun.

it's finally happened

2006-10-14T09:29:00.000-05:00

i've been engaged for 2 months yesterday. and on thursday i finally did dishes.

i hadn't washed a dish since we got engaged, but then holly and jamin came over for our weekly lost party and i had to do dishes before they got there. it was pretty gross. they were starting to smell. (just to clarify, i went back and re-read this and it sounded like my dishes hadn't been washed in two months... not so. sarah's just been doing them since we got engaged.)

since sarah was out getting the pizza and H&J were on their way over, i had no choice but to wash those mofos.

here's an example of how much i HATE dishes...

and that's the face i make when i have to do dishes.

good ipod. important ipod.

2006-10-13T11:06:00.000-05:00

if your'e going to buy an ipod, buy this ipod.

the good fight

2006-10-12T13:32:00.000-05:00

i found this game after posting about fighting every fight.

epiphany: you can't shoot everything. if it doesn't concern you, don't fire at it. you'll just waste time shooting at something in the distance when you've got a giant meteor heading for your turret.

the office

2006-10-12T12:09:00.000-05:00

2nd best church vid ever.

no better time than the present

2006-10-12T10:41:00.000-05:00

remember my last post?

...

yeah i think you're lazy. how dare i? how dare i say something like that when i haven't walked a mile in your shoes?

here's how dare i.

if i spilled coffee on my lap at work, you know what happens?

nothing.

i get to work with a wet lap until it dries.

i don't have to follow you around to see that you're lazy and try to delegate EVERYTHING. i don't care if you SAY you're busy... it's what people see you do. not what you tell people.

blogging off steam

2006-10-12T10:19:00.000-05:00

i've been thinking about this post for a couple days now. sometimes you don't want to offend people, but other times you just want to speak your mind.

everyone's always telling you to pick your battles. but most of the time, we want to fight every single one of them. it seems like i just want to be mel gibson in braveheart and take down any englishman that stands in my way.

it happens every day... in traffic, at work, at home, at school, with your teachers, with your parents (this is probably most common) and especially with truck drivers.

vague example: someone says or does something that you don't agree with. how do you decide to take on an argument? if it's something dumb like which to have on the table at a reception... pretzels or mixed nuts, then probably just don't make a big deal out of it. no one is going to remember. but if someone is doing something unsafe like blocking a dock door from closing properly, then yeah, take on that argument. ...even if it's going to be a heated one.

but for all those times where you just REALLY want to say something, but you don't... this is for you. all those times where you feel like you really sold yourself out and didn't stand up for what you think you should have said... i'm doing this. a new procedure.

i'm going to start posting what i WISH my response was. and hopefully it doesn't turn into one of those "wish i would have thought of that at the time" deals and stays true to the "i had this to say, but kept it in" sort of things.

specific example: i think it's stupid that a brother and sister can't get along over something as frivolous as money. you should be helping each other out with finances, not bickering over who gets what b/c X spent more than Y. MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE INTO BUSINESS WITH FAMILY IN THE FIRST PLACE IF YOU KNEW YOUR BROTHER HAD A TEMPER! AND MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE INTO BUSINESS WITH FAMILY IF YOU THOUGHT YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW WAS LAZY!

now, most readers probably have no idea what that's about. and that's what i want.

this specific example was about my mom and uncle going into business together. i'll spare you the details, but that's something i wish i could say to both of them. but i know all it would do is make them mad and not resolve anything.

i won't always explain what i'm saying. in fact, i'll never explain it. most likely, if you're reading it, you won't know what i'm talking about. but i'm not doing this for you. this is for me. (duh... it's my blog. get your own.)

in the future, if you read a post, and it seemingly has nothing to do with anything, ignore it. it's probably just me exercising some steam release. and yeah, it could be about you. then again, it might not be. but if it's gotten to the point where all i do is blog about it anonymously, then we've probably already talked about it.

and if we've already talked about it, and i'm doing this new procedure, then it's probably also too late.

i hope to bury a few axes rather than a few englishman with this.

who's the psycho?

2006-10-09T08:27:00.000-05:00

ok, a while ago i posted about how i burnt a deadly spider in the microwave potentially saving hundreds of lives.

then ximena posted a comment telling me that i was going to grow up to become a serial killer.

THEN she posts THIS on her blog. (don't click if you're squeamish)

dude... you cut a piglet in half. that's disgusting. at least i felt remorse for what i did. you, on the other hand, bff, proclaim it's tastiness.

i hope you ate well, bff. that little piggy went to market for YOU!

a lot of people go to school for 9 years...

2006-10-08T13:43:00.000-05:00

i just got a facebook (i don't think i'll be on there much) but i was looking at my own profile (call it vain) when i noticed my college and high school info side by side...

i graduated high school in 2000, and i will graduate college in 2009.

I'M FREAKIN' TOMMY BOY, MAN!!!

"a lot of people go to school for 9 years..."

"yeah... they're called 'doctors'"

here's to two more years of blissful learning...

everybody wants to go to heaven

2006-10-08T12:13:00.000-05:00

but nobody wants to die.

by david crowder with mike hogan.

if the rest of this book is as cool as the introduction, i will be a happy camper. it's so full of ideas and mindsets that are fresh and sadistically comforting that i know this will be a book that i will read for the rest of my life.

i wasn't too impressed with velvet elvis (granted, i never finished it), so maybe this will be my velvet elvis. it seems the cool thing to do in your twenties to have a book that's close to you and you can quote in conversation.

"according to nietzsche..."
"according to bell..."
"according to crowder..."

the one thing sticking out from the pre-prologue entitled "an introduction," is the old pessimist/optimist analogy. "is the cup half full or half empty?"

crowder insists it's not the liquid in question, but the container. and later he analyzes the analogy even further (a second degree analogy, if you will) into saying that the earth we live in isn't bad... it's not half full. it's just not an acceptable container.

this introduction is dark. it talks about how there was a dying trend in their (the band's) friends and family (including the pastor who got electrocuted during a baptism). he says the smell in the funeral home became familiar. it's the smell of flowers that are dying, no longer pulling life from the ground and sky, to cover the feel of death in the mortuary.

and that's what his comfort was supposed to be?

it's also full of humor. they (the authors) attack a question head on. the minor detail in the back of my mind they spend more time on than i can imagine and actually make it interesting.

they explain how to know which author is authoring. is it crowder or is it hogan? there is a good amount of time spent explaining how to get to know the authors w/o ever actually getting to know the authors.

witty.

here's to hoping the rest of the book is.

especially b/c i really don't enjoy reading.

i know, i know... i'm supposed to read. i should read. reading is a key element to a grand society.

big whoop, i don't like it.

silly online games

2006-10-06T13:40:00.000-05:00

took me a while, but i finally did this.

sorry justin!

Three things that scare me.
1. the supernatural
2. bad drivers
3. being trapped underwater or in a hole, or between the rails on a traintrack, or tied to something (they're all related)

Three people who make me laugh.
1. sarah
2. steve carrell
3. millie (my dog)

Three things I hate.
1. truck drivers
2. sinus infections
3. cockiness/not listening to anyone

Three things I am doing right now.
1. avoiding homework
2. listening to phantom planet
3. nodding my head with the beat

Three things I want to do before I die.
1. go to australia (going next september), hawaii and alaska in that order
2. ride my motorcycle somewhere far away (like alaska or mexico)
3. get out of debt

Three things I can do.
1. screw up
2. dance like a 'tard (when no one's looking of course)
3. rebuild an engine

Three ways to describe my personality.
1. gun nut... i mean... sticks to his guns
2. always looking for the next laugh
3. my favorite word... "whatever."

Three things I canÂt do.
1. work on a car w/o tools
2. bear children
3. melt glass with my eyes

Three things I think you should listen to.
1. rob bell
2. brand new (it's a band...)
3. your spousesignificantt other

Three favorite foods.
1. italian
2. chicken and dumplings
3. meatloaf

Three shows I watched as a kid.
1. macgyver
2. x-men
3. spiderman

Three people I tag.

http://deaverly1.blogspot.com/
http://davecrow.wordpress.com/
http://hollyannewilliams.blogspot.com/

what the?

2006-10-06T11:14:00.000-05:00

this has got to be the
crappiest website ever.

and weirdest.

a healthy perspective

2006-10-05T11:34:00.000-05:00

here is a post from someone who has an awesome view on leadership.

finally... someone who takes responsibility in his authority.

sinners helping sinners pt. ii

2006-10-05T09:54:00.000-05:00

the second part to this post is an off-chute of the previous post.

i have a hard time sometimes with convincing myself of being effective. i'm just some dude. i know like a hundred people in a world of a few billion.

to make matters worse, i'm a crappy person. i've smoked cigarettes, i've smoked weed, i've been drunk more times than i can remember, i've been sexually active before marriage, i've lied, i've cheated, i've deceived people i love, i've broken i don't know how many commandments, i'm undisciplined, i slack off at work, i'll stop here.

and God has called me to make an impact somehow? how can a drowning lifeguard save another swimmer? how can i tell someone of redemption when i don't feel redeemed?

if i'm going to be a bum, i really want to be the homeless guy telling the others where to get the soup.

sinners helping sinners pt. i

2006-10-05T09:42:00.000-05:00

sometimes i wonder how much time i spend reading relevant's articles...

it's mainly about high school ministries... BUT... it brings up a good point.

parents want a high school ministry at their church so their kids get saved and stay saved. (whatever that means).

they don't drop their kids off at this service to feed others... they just want their kids to be taught by someone else not to do the horizontal dance.

i remember my experience growing up in jr. high and high school ministry. ...NOT the sort of environment that creates a creative christ follower.

look at who we follow... who we put our faith, trust, hope, guidance in... it's jesus that the gospels are about. the guy that came in with his new yoke and changed how people met God. he didn't do so by keeping the saved saved... he altered our state of existence by going straight to the sinner's home.

this is the sort of thing we need to teach to our high school kids.
and jr. high kids.
and children's church.
and small groups.
and pastors.
and anyone who comes in the doors of your church.

i know it's more fun for me to ride a roller coaster (i've been on trips on the church bus to fun places. there's nothing wrong with that). but it's more fulfilling (for us and for christ) to spend time in a homeless shelter. and most fulfilling for the guy you just fed.

after all... when is the last time you saw a homeless guy at six flags?

my youtube

2006-10-05T08:36:00.000-05:00

for all you rss readerers out there...

if you got about 4 or 5 old blogs of mine today, it's b/c youtube was a little slow at getting my videos posted.

there's an ok go video from last week sometime, and a video i made that i took down from youtube b/c of a misspelling.

things should be straight now.

technology is a real killer, huh?

i guess we'll have to wait and see.

ok go

2006-10-05T01:39:00.000-05:00

best
video

EVER!

i see the future

2006-10-04T09:11:00.000-05:00

i found this while looking for jokes about management today at work.

all i've got to say is...

2006-10-02T17:14:00.000-05:00

thanks to sarah for this

leadership schmeadership

2006-10-02T09:31:00.000-05:00

i'm recognizing a trend here...

everyone seems to be talking about leadership these days.

i don't know if i'm supposed to be taking this all in and figuring out how to be a leader, or if everyone else is just obsessed with power.

i'm leaning towards the latter. mostly due to work experiences. everyone that comes to work here says right away, "i wanna be a supervisor!" and, given enough time, everyone gets their chance.

and blows it.

then there's all the talk about leadership in the church. how can we all be preached at to be leaders? what if we all want to be leaders? if we all ended up like the leaders at work, nothing would get done. we would just end up telling everyone to do tasks that we ourselves don't think we're above.

now, i know everyone is probably a leader of some sort in certain ways. fathers can be leaders in their families. a woman can be a leader of a small group. a guitarist/vocalist can be the leader of a band.

but why all the hub-ub about leadership? where's all the hype for servitude?

isn't that what we're called to do? i remember a few stories of leadership, but more about serving.

normally, this wouldn't bother me so much. but it's finally gotten to the point where it feels like everyone is talking about leading so much that i feel guilty for wanting to serve more than lead.

and i need to come to a conclusion... do i feel strongly about this because i'm not leading? and does that mean that i should be a leader, or promote serving more?

i'm unsure. (but like i said, i'm leaning more towards serving.)

i guess that shows how great my decision-making skillz are... what a great leader i am already!

ha!

this is a redo

2006-10-02T06:59:00.000-05:00

so thanks to ximena, i realized i had misspelled something in my little vid.

here's the remake with the correct spelling... (and don't ask me why it starts off with that frame... it's not even the beginning of the video. that's like halfway through).

it's a promo video of sorts that i made for something called "spent."

confession is going to have the last sunday of every month be a night of worship. and we hope it becomes something that every church in peoria can be included in. bands from different churches can come play worship music, or confession's can, or full volume, or any combo of whatever you just read.

we want all the churches around involved, hence the different church logos. [oh yeah... disclaimer: if you're a churched person in the peoria area, you might notice i totally ripped off your church's (or even ministry's) logo. don't worry... i'm not getting paid. and it's just for my own entertainment. so i don't think i can be sued]

like i said, the graphics are just ripped off of local church's websites (the usual copy/paste... no high quality here. remember... it's just for fun for now). props to tim schraeder for having
backgrounds on
his church's website. the music is ben folds' "jesusland," and the last graphic at the end (the spent banner) is my own design. just an inverted image in photoshop with some text. [disclaimer again: that's not anything offical. nobody at riverside asked me to design that. i just did.]

let me know what you love, what you hate, what i should change, keep the same... etc.

conditioner is better

2006-10-02T06:57:00.000-05:00

it's not quite 7 AM yet, and i'm sitting here at work when i notice my hair still feels wet.

i'm beginning to wonder if i ever rinsed the conditioner out...

i used to read john fischer...

2006-09-29T09:21:00.000-05:00

now i read relevant.

and this article may be about celebrities and how even though they're crazy, we're all crazy and just because someone is famous doesn't give us the right to make fun of them. but it reminds me of how much fun i make of everyone, whether they're famous or not.

i've got a bad habit of poking fun at anyone. if there's a joke to be made, i'll probably make it. at anyone's expense. there's a dark side to this that has been bothering me for a while.

how can i truly love like jesus if i'm always picking at someone?

i think over the past couple years, i've become a critical person. it's good in a few aspects. i actually notice things now and i feel i'm more observant.

but it comes with a negative. with the criticalness, you're never totally accepting of EVERYTHING. to be more accurate, you're never totally accepting of ANYTHING. you're (buy 'you're' i mean 'i'm') always on the lookout for what could be improved and less concerned with what is already a positive.

i like being a critical person. it helps me in my own life with school, work, worship, relationships, etc. but it's also hard on relationships with classmates, co-workers, brothers, mothers, cousins, etc.

i know sarah has pointed out to me that i'm quick to tell her what she does wrong (like leaning the wrong way on a motorcycle), but not telling her what she does right (like leaning with me on the motorcycle).

this critical behavior could be dangerous...

so how do you keep it in check?

i hope to have a few answers shortly. and a lot of answers over the years.

crowder rocks, third day is a downer

2006-09-28T23:17:00.000-05:00

i just got back from the david crowder/third day concert and it's late.

first off, the opening band, hyper static union, was pretty ok. but they only played three songs.

then crowder went right on stage w/o even a whole song between acts.

that guy knows how to reach an audience. you were moving and singing and laughing and dancing. it was great. here are a couple quotes from the man himself:

"less pretty more loud!"

"he's a pretty man, but seriously..." (about josh groban)

he also made a comment "WW..." in reference again to josh groban as in "what would josh do?"

that man is hilarious. ...crowder, not groban.

then third day got on stage.

they sucked.
as always.

we left early.

jesus jokes

2006-09-28T17:39:00.000-05:00

i was inspired by justin's post... here's another joke about church folk.

how do you keep a baptist from drinking all your beer when you go fishing?

bring another baptist.

wedding planning

2006-09-28T13:51:00.000-05:00

wow it takes a lot to come together all at once to plan a wedding day.

this isn't even the minor details yet... the big stuff.

first, we had our date (9/8/07) at first assembly. then i realized my mom and dad got married there and they divorced 20 years ago. but my uncle has been married there twice (the first wife died of leukemia 18 years ago). then i realized his second marriage just ended in a divorce yesterday.

so, first assembly isn't really a good choice. but riverside is (plus their website is just way cooler)! ...except that date isn't open. so we decided the place is more important than the date, so we bumped it back a week. now the date is 9/15/07 (which, according to my mom, just 'sounds' like a good wedding date), but the reception hall doesn't have that date open. still, we decided the church is more important than the reception hall.

so we don't have a reception hall as of right now (i'm hoping the gateway building will be open now that we changed our date. it wasn't open for the 8th). BUT... some good did come out of this.

since we changed our date, the photographers will be the actual owners and not their children. i liked their kids' stuff. a LOT. but we hadn't met them. we met with the mother/owner and she was awesome. so i'm pretty stoked to have her doing our photos.

so, it looks like all we need now is a reception hall and guests and we're gettin' MARRIED!

oh yeah... and flowers, a dj, wedding dress, bride's maid dresses, my tux, best man/groomsmen tuxes, i still have to find out who can be ushers, invitations, save the date, engagement announcement, engagement pictures, bachelor party, wedding shower, finding a place to live, registering, honeymoon planning (why didn't i put this first??? i don't know), marriage license, gifts for the wedding party, caterer, flower girl, ring bearer, and how we'll fit millie into the ceremony.

i'm sure there's more, but i don't feel like thinking about it at the moment. i've got homework to do.

research

2006-09-26T08:54:00.000-05:00

i looked into googling "tracts" and this is what i came up with...

somehow, that's not the loving God i picture.

tract down the sinners!

2006-09-26T08:29:00.000-05:00

relevant has some of the best articles anywhere.

i don't know how many (if any) people that have actually been affected by tracts, but i'm guessing that's not really the wave of the future. they're just too impersonal. and lazy. is someone really going go get a tract and think, "wow... this guy really put a lot of consideration into choosing ME to give this tract to... i think i'll love jebus now."

doubtful.

but there are alternatives... i don't know about the things this guy did... b/c i probably wouldn't accept food from a stranger and i wouldn't want someone else to clean my truck. but the clothes thing was a good idea.

i do like a couple things he had to say, though...

"I really didn't have a particularly sound understanding of why anyone would be interested in listening to me explain the information held within."

"Years after the tract experience, after I had met Jesus," [this implies the author didn't meet Jesus until he grew up. very cool thought.]

"A positive second step is to, as much as possible, avoid coming off as a wacko. I'm still working on this one myself, but I don't think you'll look like too much of a wacko if you really love Jesus, and if you really love the people you talk to." [no one thinks mother teresa was a wacko...]

So what's better than tracts?

Love.

Be friends with someone. The end of this article shows that the author had three friends that show up to church regularly now. If you really want to impact someone's life, love them.

[by the way... the 'jebus' was intentional]

season premier: the office

2006-09-22T09:54:00.000-05:00

this show just gets better and better.

you can definitely tell there's some new formatting for the show. it's softer and the characters are a lot more likeable (except stanley... i really can't stand that guy. he gets grumpier and grumpier).

this is the way shows go. you can't have a character that everyone hates or else everyone will end up hating the show. the characters have to be likeable.

while the new feel for the show is more of a tv show than a dramatic office documentary, it still delivers on the funny.

this is still, by far, the funniest show on television (now that arrested development is off the air).

steve carell is HOT right now after his success in little miss sunshine and the new sequel to 40 year old virgin, 41 year old manwhore. let's hope he doesn't get fired from his own orifice.

warped

2006-09-22T09:23:00.000-05:00

you like paris hilton?

yeah, me neither.

from hawaii to alaska and back

2006-09-20T19:56:00.000-05:00

i'm just sitting here watching pbs instead of doing homework (yeah, i enjoy pbs. big whoop. you wanna fight about it?) and there's something on with jean michael cousteua. so it's obviouslly about marine biology.

they're going around america's underwater treasures and i just saw something about sea turtles, and now they switched to humpback whales.

something really struck me as awemazing (a combination of awesome and amazing). hawaii is their breeding grounds. it's protected waters when they are there breeding. vessles aren't even allowed to approach the humpbacks in these waters surrounding hawaii.

these huge mammals (reaching up to 40 tons (80,000 pounds... that's as much as a fully loaded 53' cemi trailer WITH the cemi truck) breed and give birth in hawaiian waters.

after the breeding, they swim to alaska. they come back to hawaii the next year, have some babies, and swim back. they keep doing this year in and year out.

the narrator pointed out how the young humpbacks jump and play in the warm water around the american islands having just arrived from alaska where they gained strength.

i should think so! how awesome would it be to swim from hawaii to alaska and back for a routine exercise?!?

lucky!

this is the life of a whale. a life that has so obviously been designed. thank you, pbs, for delivering awemazing video right into my living room, further proving to me that my god is an artist who not only creates, but creates his own medium.

don't small talk back

2006-09-19T09:27:00.000-05:00

let it end with you.

i need to get t-shirts made denouncing small talk. i hate it. people ask, "how are you doing?" and they couldn't care less. in fact, it usually means they want you to ask them so they can talk.

this is a great observation by the people at relevant.

don't spread small talk. do like this article says and just ask, "have you lost weight?"