it was all over
i never thought i'd wake up to that smell again. when i was a little kid, one of the dogs came into my room in the middle of the night and crapped EVERYWHERE. that was the first time i had been woken up by scent.
i thought it would be the last.
but last night became the second time. and that's not even the beginning of the story...
two nights ago, i was falling asleep on the couch, and i heard my dog heaving on the floor at the opposite end of the couch. i didn't get up. she's a dog, so it's not like she needs me to hold her ears back. plus, to be completely/disgustingly honest, i secretly hoped she would just lick it up after she puked anyway and i wouldn't have to clean it.
so i ended up falling asleep on the couch that night. and in the morning, i walked into my bedroom and found a small puddle of diarrhea on the floor at the foot of my bed. kinda gross, but no biggie. my dog's housetrained, but i know i've cut it close with the hershy squirts before, so i wasn't angry.
until i turned around to walk into the bathroom.
when i say "puddle of diarrhea," i mean it literally. a puddle.
i don't have a mop, just a swiffer wet jet. it took two pads to clean the floor. i didn't realize it at the time, but i should have been thankful the huge puddle was on the linoleum floor.
and that brings us to last night.
i went to bed around 1:30 and by 4:30 i was back on the couch. here's how...
a funny sound woke me up. but i didn't think anything of it. just fell back asleep. until about 2 minutes later. that's when the smell hit my olfactory bulbs like a ton of manure. i tried to ignore it until morning, but i couldn't. i got up to see what the stench was. she almost made it to the bathroom floor again. but only almost.
since i was hardly able to keep my eyes open (this is so gross and just shows how nasty boys can be), i grabbed my sleeping back, shut my bedroom door (to block the smell), and slept on my couch.
problem temporarily solved, right?
wrong.
that little dog was up all night puking. i woke up several times to he heaving on the floor across the room.
so, total score for two nights ago: one spot of dog vomit, one large spot of doggy diarrhea on carpet, and one HUGE puddle of it on linoleum.
total score for last night: 3 large spots of doggy diarrhea on carpet, and 3 large spots of chunky dog vomit
i can't wait to see what tonight will be like!!!
one thing i learned from this experience... i am NOT ready for parenthood. for all you parents out there, i admire you and your ability to hold back gags when dealing with bodily matter.
i thought it would be the last.
but last night became the second time. and that's not even the beginning of the story...
two nights ago, i was falling asleep on the couch, and i heard my dog heaving on the floor at the opposite end of the couch. i didn't get up. she's a dog, so it's not like she needs me to hold her ears back. plus, to be completely/disgustingly honest, i secretly hoped she would just lick it up after she puked anyway and i wouldn't have to clean it.
so i ended up falling asleep on the couch that night. and in the morning, i walked into my bedroom and found a small puddle of diarrhea on the floor at the foot of my bed. kinda gross, but no biggie. my dog's housetrained, but i know i've cut it close with the hershy squirts before, so i wasn't angry.
until i turned around to walk into the bathroom.
when i say "puddle of diarrhea," i mean it literally. a puddle.
i don't have a mop, just a swiffer wet jet. it took two pads to clean the floor. i didn't realize it at the time, but i should have been thankful the huge puddle was on the linoleum floor.
and that brings us to last night.
i went to bed around 1:30 and by 4:30 i was back on the couch. here's how...
a funny sound woke me up. but i didn't think anything of it. just fell back asleep. until about 2 minutes later. that's when the smell hit my olfactory bulbs like a ton of manure. i tried to ignore it until morning, but i couldn't. i got up to see what the stench was. she almost made it to the bathroom floor again. but only almost.
since i was hardly able to keep my eyes open (this is so gross and just shows how nasty boys can be), i grabbed my sleeping back, shut my bedroom door (to block the smell), and slept on my couch.
problem temporarily solved, right?
wrong.
that little dog was up all night puking. i woke up several times to he heaving on the floor across the room.
so, total score for two nights ago: one spot of dog vomit, one large spot of doggy diarrhea on carpet, and one HUGE puddle of it on linoleum.
total score for last night: 3 large spots of doggy diarrhea on carpet, and 3 large spots of chunky dog vomit
i can't wait to see what tonight will be like!!!
one thing i learned from this experience... i am NOT ready for parenthood. for all you parents out there, i admire you and your ability to hold back gags when dealing with bodily matter.
I threw up a little in my mouth just reading this!
Posted by
charlesdean2 |
January 25, 2006 12:26 PM