cynicism
i realize my posting this week has been pretty cynical.
i guess when you go through that punk phase in highschool/college, you don't lose all of your ideology. for now, that's a good thing. i'll keep it.
i had been wondering if all those halloween posts and posts about what sucks about church/christianity were over the top. i was supersensitive to any feedback and i think i took it personally. or it made me angry when someone else took it personally.
i'll still stand by my complaints. the church is never going to be perfect, but when i see a blatant disregard for an attempt at perfection, i got angry.
perfection for me is admitting you're not perfect, and (here's the big part) NOT COMING DOWN ON OTHERS FOR NOT BEING PERFECT.
plus, i have to seemingly go back on my post about using christian phrases on nonbelievers.
i've had wild success with the term, "i'll pray for you."
it's my new secret weapon.
something awemazing happens when you show someone you're concerned for them. concerned so much, in fact, that you will go to God with something about them.
i have a friend at work who i've deemed "the sister i've never wanted." (sounds harsh, but it's really a term of endearment). she's awesome. totally innocent and caring. and i've felt for a long time that i should invite her and her husband to church.
she's never been inside a church.
yet, when she was talking to me about her husband needing a new job (she was on 1st shift and he was on 2nd), i got really nervous, but i told her i would pray for her.
this was a string of e-mail conversations, so i was pretty anxious to see what she would write back.
she ended up saying she would really appreciate that. but what's even MORE impressive is that she started telling me that she really felt like she needed to pray more and rely more on God than herself and how she knew she wouldn't be anything without him.
wildy successful interaction. this girl who had never set foot inside a church is hoping for God to care enough to listen to her. now where did she learn that?!?
i have other examples, but i'll keep them to myself.
all this to say, i've been too cynical. i have a critical mind and a perfectionist personality. that combined with the occasional flare-up of my DTM punk days, i admit i get too judgmental of the church.
i still won't blindly follow a pastor who wants to broadcast that nonbelievers are being laughed at, or any pastor for that reason. after all, you pastor types are just regular people and want to be held at regular people reckoning.
but i won't go against the message i'm trying to live myself by demeaning someone else for their actions.
soldiers are dying to protect your right to burn the flag they swore to, and i won't get in your way of "humbling" nonbelievers in order to show them christ's love. if i did that, then wouldn't i be a hypocrite? i want sinners to feel loved, and i should want believers to feel loved.
just don't expect me to agree with everything coming from the pulpit.
i guess when you go through that punk phase in highschool/college, you don't lose all of your ideology. for now, that's a good thing. i'll keep it.
i had been wondering if all those halloween posts and posts about what sucks about church/christianity were over the top. i was supersensitive to any feedback and i think i took it personally. or it made me angry when someone else took it personally.
i'll still stand by my complaints. the church is never going to be perfect, but when i see a blatant disregard for an attempt at perfection, i got angry.
perfection for me is admitting you're not perfect, and (here's the big part) NOT COMING DOWN ON OTHERS FOR NOT BEING PERFECT.
plus, i have to seemingly go back on my post about using christian phrases on nonbelievers.
i've had wild success with the term, "i'll pray for you."
it's my new secret weapon.
something awemazing happens when you show someone you're concerned for them. concerned so much, in fact, that you will go to God with something about them.
i have a friend at work who i've deemed "the sister i've never wanted." (sounds harsh, but it's really a term of endearment). she's awesome. totally innocent and caring. and i've felt for a long time that i should invite her and her husband to church.
she's never been inside a church.
yet, when she was talking to me about her husband needing a new job (she was on 1st shift and he was on 2nd), i got really nervous, but i told her i would pray for her.
this was a string of e-mail conversations, so i was pretty anxious to see what she would write back.
she ended up saying she would really appreciate that. but what's even MORE impressive is that she started telling me that she really felt like she needed to pray more and rely more on God than herself and how she knew she wouldn't be anything without him.
wildy successful interaction. this girl who had never set foot inside a church is hoping for God to care enough to listen to her. now where did she learn that?!?
i have other examples, but i'll keep them to myself.
all this to say, i've been too cynical. i have a critical mind and a perfectionist personality. that combined with the occasional flare-up of my DTM punk days, i admit i get too judgmental of the church.
i still won't blindly follow a pastor who wants to broadcast that nonbelievers are being laughed at, or any pastor for that reason. after all, you pastor types are just regular people and want to be held at regular people reckoning.
but i won't go against the message i'm trying to live myself by demeaning someone else for their actions.
soldiers are dying to protect your right to burn the flag they swore to, and i won't get in your way of "humbling" nonbelievers in order to show them christ's love. if i did that, then wouldn't i be a hypocrite? i want sinners to feel loved, and i should want believers to feel loved.
just don't expect me to agree with everything coming from the pulpit.
