if you can read this, you're literate

i think this guy has it right.

and not just about halloween, about everything the church does.

this leads into a post i've been pondering a while... christians are weird, man.

yeah yeah, we're called to be different, but let's be realistic.

if you start and end every sentence in a prayer with "lord," are you really, honestly, SERIOUSLY thinking about what you're saying? shouldn't you be MORE mindful of your words when you pray? you're talking to God, man.

and i'm starting a list... a list of words/phrases that christians need to properly define instead of just saying all the time. or better yet... just quit using them. the rest of the world thinks it's weird, man.

honor
glory
praise
(sometimes those three in one phrase)
sanctify
glorify your name
beyond a shadow of a doubt
calling everyone "friend" or "brother/sister."
_____ to your name (insert any number of christian nouns here. subexamples; glory, honor, praise)
thwart
deliverER
everlasting
redemption (with the exception of shawshank)
arise
upon
among
be lifted on high
*****there is a TON of things to do with the heart that just don't make sense to unchurched people that we shouldn't use on them right away. a few of them are...
hearts speaking
having a heart specifically for something other than pumping blood (subexample; a heart for missions)
jesus living there
working on hearts (not in the surgery way)
hearts being spoken to
hardened hearts

also, we should quit naming ministries after scientific words. it conjures up too much science fiction, nerdy, hocus-pocus imagery. and we all know that sci-fi nerds just go to church to hit on chicks.

examples:

fusion
catalyst
area 51
the God zone
ignition

it's probably better to just name these groups what they are... "sr. high ministry, jr. high ministry, people out of high school ministry."

actually... nevermind that. just get a just get a cool/normal name.

and of course, these lists go on and on. but i won't post all of them here. feel free to post your own additions. i doubt this list will ever be complete.

i have to point out, though... i'm not saying christians should be exactly like the rest of the world. we just shouldn't be perceived as weird. nobody wants to join the nerds playing magic: the gathering at perkin's, and nobody wants to join a group of people that talk funny (like nerds playing magic: the gathering at perkin's).

all i'm saying is... why do we have to talk like medieval knights?

do you remember being in high school and reading shakespeare? well, the teachers all just knew that it was a great story. but you hated it. it was boring and didn't make much sense. it was written in english, but who could tell?

then you see a movie adapted for the screen from a shakespeare play and it's actually good.

then you realize why teachers like shakespeare... it's actually a good story... it's just clouded by weird words that are out of style, taught by people who don't like change, and NOT updated.

so i'm begging... please, please, PLEASE don't teach shakespeare at church. and don't try to impress those sinners at work with your holy talk. they'll just think you're a nerd if you ask them to come to SynRgy. then they'll tell everyone you play magic and had to cut your ponytail to work there.

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Posted by erichapman on Wednesday, November 01, 2006 at 1:23 PM | Permalink